Struggling at school? Just take one step at a time

No one wants to see a child fail or not attend school because of poor mental health.

Managing a full day at school can be challenging for many SEND children and in some cases for these children, returning to school after lockdown, has created additional issues for them to cope with.

How does a family cope?   Jack's mum (not his real name) shares their story here.

"Jack is 13, has a diagnosis of Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia and attends a mainstream secondary school.  Earlier this year, Jack almost hit rock bottom - he became overwhelmed, distressed and unable to cope at school, lost all self-confidence and self-esteem and his mental wellbeing became an issue.

Jack has always been a happy child but has struggled significantly over the past year as he now becomes more aware of his difficulties and how they impact on his learning and everyday life.  He was really struggling in a mainstream school environment with 1,200 students. We needed help to get some support in place and referrals were made to relevant services.

The school has been fantastic. The SENCo and his Head of Year have been so helpful and supportive and we all work together to support Jack.  Realistic goals were set, in terms of the work he could complete at home and we made sure that looking after his mental health was the key focus.  Depending on how Jack was feeling and how many people were around at the time, going out for a walk each day was one of our main priorities, even if it was only for five minutes.

Then came Covid-19 and Lockdown.  Despite all the negative impacts of the pandemic, lockdown actually brought some peace for Jack. It gave him time and relief to be at home each day, in a safe, quiet place where everything was more predictable and so he felt settled. 

Over lockdown, we applied for an Education, Health and Care plan (EHCP) for him and as part of that, he had an HCC Educational Psychology assessment.  We were extremely lucky with the assessment and the support the Educational Psychologist provided.  She went above and beyond to try and build bridges and connect with him, as he was finding the whole process difficult and overwhelming.  She was also supportive to our family and offered some very good advice and strategies.  She advised that although the hope is that he would return to school full time in September, we should be aware that he may not be able to, or that if he did manage for a while, he may still struggle to maintain it.  As he had been struggling pre-Covid, we would need to plan carefully for this and take one step at a time.

Jack was extremely anxious about returning to school in September and found it very difficult, even with the extra support in place.  He wanted to go back to see his friends but just could not cope.  He could manage a whole day at school but then become very distressed in the evening, unable to cope.  The next day he would go to school and we were called to come and collect him at 9.30am, as he was unwell, extremely anxious and needed to come home.  Because he was not coping, I spoke to the school about a short-term, part-time, timetable.  They agreed and we worked together, with my son, to put a plan in place.  He started attending mornings only, building up to staying for lunch (his choice) and then completing a couple of full days each week at school. 

It has made a huge difference, as he is now able to cope in school, knowing that some days he only has the morning lessons and that is enough.  He needed the return to school broken down into smaller, more realistic steps that he could cope with. Long term obviously the goal is for him to return to school full-time.  He wants to remain at his current school.  It has worked for him and our family, as he is going to lessons, is happier and building up his attendance to attend fulltime. 

For children who cannot cope – work with the school, take smaller steps to get back into full time education.  Each child is different and by working with the school, a personal and suitable plan can be found to help your child."

Hertfordshire’s Local Offer has lots of information about all types of support and help groups – visit www.hertfordshire.gov.uk/localoffer